Haulin' ass through the vaccine line

Who knew burros were the fast track to a shot?

I don’t know if I had COVID-19 when I was ill in February-March 2020, but I had a lot of the symptoms — recurring fever/chills, headaches, loss of taste, shortness of breath, a cough that went on for weeks, and deathly fatigue.

I’m a long distance runner and pack-burro racer. For many weeks after this I struggled running just a couple of miles, or had to stop at the top of a hill, hands on knees, to catch my breath. Several times I turned back not far from home and wondered if I could even make it home.

Could’ve just been the flu. Could’ve been . . .

But some problems lingered after the illness, especially a bad muscle tightness while driving. Even the short 20-minute trip to Westcliffe was crippling for the first couple minutes after getting out of my vehicle. Also, before all this I could stand in a yoga tree pose for several minutes on either foot. After my illness I was able to do so on my right foot, but quickly lost balance on my left.

I saw two doctors about these problems but despite fairly thorough screenings for various conditions nobody had any answers. My requests for a COVID-19 anti-body test went unanswered. And so I will never know. 

My symptoms got slightly better midsummer but returned in the fall.

“Hi, I’m from the government, and me and my friends from the media and pharmaceutical industry are here to help you.”

Recently there’s been a lot of social pressure for me to get a COVID-19 vaccine, not the least from Mary. I’ve resisted. Not because I’m an anti-vaxxer, or think it’s part of some conspiracy to plant tracking devices in us all, or anything crazy like that. However, I do have concerns these vaccines were rushed to the market with clearance from our illustrious former president who could probably use some cash from the pharmaceutical industry about now. Plus, I feel like I’ve already done battle with the ‘Rona and the chances of it killing me are akin to nuclear fallout felling a cockroach.

Nevertheless, I work as a running coach and aide in the school. I’ve definitely been exposed to positive cases several times in recent months, and even as I write this our entire volleyball team, senior class and several adult faculty members have just been placed in quarantine. In the final analysis, I decided if it made me less likely to spread COVID to a kid, including my own, I would risk the shot. There’s also anecdotal evidence the vaccine may be helpful to COVID “long-haulers.”

This week I needed to take delivery of a couple burros en route from Arizona in nearby Pueblo, so an appointment was made at the Pueblo State Fairgrounds. After collecting these burros I drove over toward the Midway and followed the orange traffic cones to the first checkpoint. There I was told that there was no way I could navigate the vaccination gauntlet with a pickup truck and livestock trailer. I surveyed the course from behind the wheel and knew deep inside that I could back the trailer through this thing if need be. However, to avoid conflict I pulled over to a dirt lot and followed one of the workers afoot to the “walk-up” service. 

There I found no line, and an entire team of pleasant folks, some in military uniform, who seemed surprised that I actually made an appointment, which of course I didn’t. I asked if there was any way they could not give me the vaccine and just say that they did, but they laughed and told me to go get my rig. They’d have a shot there in a few minutes. So I walked back and drove the burros over to the walk-up station. Everyone was thrilled to meet Roger and Oliver. For certain this was a departure from their typical day and patients. Very shortly a nurse pulled up in a golf cart with my Pfizer shot, stuck it in my arm and after the 15 minutes of observation I was on my way. 

Who knew burros were the key to preferential treatment at the neighborhood vaccine stand?

And so I joined all the good sheeple in this grand pharmaceutical experiment. Thus far I’m still alive. Part of me thinks they are giving us all a placebo, then sending an enormous bill to our Uncle. Whatever. There was some minor soreness in my arm for a day. If nothing else, I provided entertainment for the shot-givers — and for myself another chapter in the human experience in this age of Kali Yuga.