More challenges and a home meet
As a society we have a mistaken belief that there is a linear autism spectrum. It ranges from completely dysfunctional on one end to brilliant savant on the other. Our social and educational systems are set up to accommodate those at either end. It’s a vast oversimplification that only someone who spends a lot of time with someone like Harrison can understand. He was now navigating the complexities of college life as a student and athlete, but in any given situation he might display the mental-emotional capacity of a much younger person. Chronologically he was 18, but physically in a 16-year-old’s body. He wanted badly to behave like a neurotypical person, but was often prone to uncontrollable Tourette-like blurting and acting out. His ability to control these impulses weakens when he’s under stress.
Keeping all this on the rails in classes and at cross-country practice was a constant challenge.
Harrison had difficulty sitting through lectures without interrupting. He also protested the hard workout days that included any kind of intervals or other repetitious running drills. Darren caught the brunt of Harrison’s frustrations. He liked to have team meetings in his classroom, and wanted to include Harrison, but Harrison often would interrupt these sessions.
Twice weekly Darren would take the team out for an interval session. It might be on the “track” which was a rocky trail and dirt road encircling the soccer field, or on the “Fit Loop,” a stone-strewn road-width section of trail just short of a mile in length and with an evil uphill for the first half. Once per season there was the signature CMC anaerobic workout that Darren called “Slaughterhouse Hills,” which incorporated a short but very steep hill, almost steep enough to reach out and touch. That first fall Harrison yelled and screamed and pitched a major fit almost every time one of these hard workouts was on the schedule. He really just wanted to go run and could not understand the purpose of these shorter and harder efforts.
In high school I had kept these types of workouts to a minimum for him. I did not want to argue so I would give him the option of doing the high-intensity workouts then just accept it if he didn’t participate or put in a quality effort. I knew it frustrated some of his teammates when he would outperform them in competitions after they outworked him in hard practices. This would be the case in his first college cross-country season as well. He’d often be last in the hard workouts, then place much better in the actual races.
While Harrison’ academic work centered on his two welding classes, and writing assignments for the English classes, he was hyper-focused on his choir club project for the college experience class. He attended a student government meeting to get approval for the choir club. He then scheduled club meetings, and practice sessions, and actually had a few fellow students involved. All of this was pointed to a performance. Kelli in her wisdom, and knowing the student profile, steered him toward a campfire sing-along at the residence hall instead of a formal choir performance. Her thinking was solid with so many of the students in the Outdoor Recreation Leadership program. Many of them would be training to be guides, and campfire sing-alongs would fit in with their training.
In various meetings I inquired about additional academic support from the college. I asked several times about the Trio SSS program because U.S. Department of Education’s website seemed to indicate the program is intended to provide supports such as this to students with disabilities displaying academic need. Each time it was reiterated that I was Harrison’s academic aide. Eventually it was offered that Harrison could receive therapy through the college, which contracted these services through the local Sol Vista Health. He was assigned a therapist who he met with weekly. I joined him for one of the first visits. The therapy seemed focused on helping him avoid reacting negatively to situations and providing him with alternative behaviors to his usual screaming and freaking out.
On my travels to the college I would occasionally eat in the cafeteria and join the team table. It struck me that Nate had assumed the role as team leader. He seemed to be the person the rest of the squad looked to for answers or guidance to about any situation. I had always felt that Nate was an Old Soul and so this did not surprise me at all to see him in this position. However, I was concerned about Nate as he had developed a problem in his hips and legs that seemed to kick in about a mile into warmups. Sadly, this injury would keep Nate from competing for the rest of the cross-country season and also track season in the spring.
The next cross-country competition was a dual meet with NJCAA Region IX rival Central Wyoming College, with CMC hosting on the campus trails. While Trinidad State was by far the leader in this division, Central Wyoming, located in Riverton, Wyoming, was more closely matched with CMC.
The team prepped for the small meet by crafting awards from rocks spray-painted to represent various Leadville metals — gold, silver etc. The morning of the meet we all were out very early in the chill air marking and flagging the course, and making chalk starting boxes on the road by the green gate. In contrast to the previous competition hosted by Adams State this seemed relatively low-key, but with the home-course advantage the team was amped for the competition.
It was a beautiful crisp fall day with the aspens turning gold. Darren was hoping for a win on the rugged, high-altitude home course, probably the highest in the nation if not the world. Central Wyoming had other ideas.
From the start the runners bolted down the flat fire road then downhill to make the first shorter loop to the west of the campus, up a steep climb, and back through the starting area. When Harrison came through he was in dead last place and seemed to be struggling. The runners then turned up the sharp hill and onto the hilly, curvy and rocky main course of the trail system.
With my familiarity of the trails I was able to bushwhack through the trail network to watch the race from several vantage points. I stationed myself to watch as the runners passed, then took off through the woods to catch them at the next junction. There was one spot where I could wait for them at one trail and see them descend another path a short distance through the trees. It was here that I saw one of CWC’s lead runners trip on a rock, lose his balance, and go careening head over heels a great distance downhill. I rushed through the forest to see if he was OK but by the time I got there, he had gotten back to his feet and was gone.
Shortly after, Harrison passed through that same section. He had somehow caught up and passed several runners, including a couple of his teammates. He was now looking strong right in the thick of things, trading places with one of CWC’s runners, and in a position to score points. Surprised by his rally, I bolted through the woods again to watch how this would unfold.
In the final half-mile Harrison staged a gallant uphill charge and dropped the CWC runner decidedly, finishing as CMC’s fourth runner and boosting the team’s points total. He’d run a brilliant race but the final tally was still not quite enough for an Eagles’ win. The women’s team also placed behind CWC, whose runners placed in the top three spots to secure the win. It was a disappointing defeat for both CMC squads.
Following the meet while waiting for the awards ceremony Mary, who had driven that morning for the meet, struck up a conversation with Lexi’s mom. During this, Lexi’s mom related to Mary some of the challenges Lexi had faced in high school. Harrison happened to be standing nearby — one can never know just how much he is hearing or absorbing. I stayed over for the rest of the weekend and went back Monday. Harrison never mentioned a word to me about what he had overheard.
Apparently, during dinner that following Wednesday, Harrison suddenly blurted out something about what he had overheard. This was tremendously embarrassing for Lexi. That next day I had been called in to substitute at the high school and got a text from Lexi. She was understandably irritated. I felt sick to my stomach, and worse I was stuck in a classroom with middle-school science students. Over my lunch break I wrote her a short text apologizing for Harrison’s insensitivity. I left Westcliffe after practice as usual and headed up to Leadville arriving after dark.
The following morning was a hard workout on the CMC Fit Loop. Basically, these were mile repeats with an uphill and downhill section on the rocky cross-country trail. Darren would send the men first, then the women. Lexi was struggling with the workout and knee pain. After his final lap Harrison realized that he had finished last among the men. He screamed and shrieked out loud, “I am worse than Lexi!”
This of course went over badly, especially in the context of the previous week, not to mention the issues earlier in the semester. I got sternly up in Harrison’s face about it, then realized I had lost my own cool. On the verge of losing my mind, I walked off and went jogging on my own, leaving Harrison to fend for himself as I sought solace among the pines. When I got back I related to Darren that I felt like driving Harrison straight to the state hospital. Harrison of course recovered quickly and went to the cafeteria for lunch like nothing had happened.
While packing up to go home I ran into Lexi in the parking lot and told her I was sorry about everything. I was teary-eyed as I thanked her for being patient and understanding. She listened empathetically and simply said, “It’s OK.”
Nevertheless, Harrison’s behaviors were very public and could not be ignored, resulting in more Care Reports.
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